Selfish

Maybe I'm selfish...

The superficial ones, the more intimate ones, down to the "I Only Talk To You When I See You In The Street, Because I Know You Are Not Safe" ones...I take all of my relationships seriously. The way I see things, you never know when you need someone. Plus, I don't know about you, but I refuse to have my name on the suicide note:

I have committed suicide because Ms. T did not accept my phone call earlier today.
Sincerely,
Secluded and Seductive Stephen

I just refuse. I also refuse to share what I feel is mine. I do not mind being your support when your girl just cursed you out or when your man just fucked your face up because he saw you out with your male cousin, but do understand if a serious, down & dirty relationship is going on between us, I do not need my friends, my dog, or my own two eyes to catch you doing otherwise. I feel that I am a very special person to everyone I meet. Especially, if we had a relationship that went beyond "Hey, how you doing?"

I do not apprciate your other friends, male or female, not knowing who I am. Therefore, when I call, stop by, or send you a postcard, she won't give me the boo boo face, nor will she kick you out. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that they need to know every detail about how we are really sister and brother or she was my cousin twice removed, but my name should come up at some point and I would hope that whoever you are with, whether it's Blow-Job Betty or Butt-Licker Bob, knows and understands what our relationship consists of.

I also feel like if you are my friend, and you know another friend of mine, at least include me in some of the events that may occur (regardless if I am not the first person you think about when it is time to go out), just so I don't run across pictures of the outing on Facebook, Myspace, etc. and become hurt because I was not invited. It puts me out of the loop. I'm not saying I need to attend each and every event, but if I go to introduce you to someone and the both of you are all giddy because y'all had such a great time the last two weekends you all went out as a group, I will not be too active in the activities set forth! Know that!

I will admit, maybe I am selfish. I will get jealous, especially if you have me believing otherwise...but I mean, who wouldn't, especially if they believe that what the two of you share is something bigger than what it is. Maybe I'm being a little naive or I am looking too deep into the situation. I feel I have to, though. I don't want Luscious Leroy to approach me and tell me how much he's been loving me since kindergarten and he couldn't hold back any longer. I don't want Reality Renita telling me I'm her best friend and I don't think of her no more than Associate #5.

Ms. T is very much crazy. I will cut you, shoot you, slice your face, etc. Again, ESPECIALLY if I feel that our relationship is a little deeper than "Hello". Understand that! I don't ask for much. I am not asking you to show me how much you care, if I feel that I can trust you. I am not asking you to step out of your comfort zone to go the distance for me. All I am asking is for you to respect me and my feelings.