Time

Find it in your pocket...

It's interesting how it goes by. Time, that is. I understood what my uncle meant when he said it, and still do, but I don't think others understand.

Your time, doesn't consume my life. My time consumes mine. You shouldn't always depend on me to stop mine for yours. You should use your's more wisely. Plus, as if my voicemail doesn't say, "Please leave a message after the tone and I will get back to you as soon as possible." Well, if you don't do that, how can I call you back. You're not above leaving a message. But you can shoot me IMs saying how I am and you don't want to talk to me anymore...It's not that serious, never was, and never will be. Trust me, I don't believe you and it doesn't bother me. Another person will fill your shoes, whether they are exactly like you or not. I don't have the energy to focus on you!

I have surgery in 2 days, I am on my period (which has kept me drained and sleepy) and I'm trying to keep motherfuckers off my back! So tell me what busy means to you?! Oh, that's right, you think that I am just sitting at the computer all day, busy doing nothing. You think I watch television, being busy sitting on my ass all day. You think that I am looking at the flies fly by outside my window, being busy. OH, that's right, I'm just not that type of person to be busy doing something...that's what you said, right?! Fuck you! If you took the time to stop trying to make people like you, which they already do, and stop trying to be the "perfect person", maybe you'd feel a little better about yourself and treat others better. No one gives a shit about you because you don't know how to treat people but like shit. You talk to them any ol' kind of way and don't care.

Do know that, we ARE alike, and I will challenge you toe to toe. I will not back down. I never have and never will, against ANYBODY! You are no exception to the rule. Grow the fuck up, get your life right, then holla at me, when you understand what I mean! Time is NOT on your side.

What It Meant To Me

When you do things like that, it makes me think...

I had spurts of thought that fogged my ability to complete my tasks for the day. Then, you shot a text. Whether you did it or not, it was from you. I felt that it was your way of saying you were thinking of me. Then, it made me realize how much I missed you for all the wrong reasons. It made me realize how you were not my match...how much I should be happy that you are not around...how fortunate I am to not have to deal with your games. And then I settled. I settled on how that's your way of saying I miss you, I'm thinking about you, I lust you.

Further thinking, led me to acknowledge that there is better and there are others who want to be mine. They want me to say, "That's my man." They want me to hug and kiss and love them up. There are others who recognized the potential as soon as our eyes met (but what took you forever to do) and are patiently waiting. You are trying to catch up. You are trying to figure out ways to incorporate yourself back into my life and end up on your happy note, of possibly getting married and having children.

Now, I sit listening to Avant's Director CD wishing he (not you) were here. Or I was there. Not really doing anything, just chilling. Just sitting and watching television, or playing a video game, or just sitting in the dark. I think about it so much, it's as if I'm already there. The feeling he gives is the most orgasmic. He lights my life...

You Are the Thumb

You're unique and flexible. And you defy any category. Mentally strong and agile, you do things your own way. And you do them well. You are a natural leader... but also truly a loner. You inspire many but connect with few. You get along well with: The Middle Finger Stay away from: The Pinky

What Finger Are You?

You Are 25% Bitchy

You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts. Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them!

How Bitchy Are You?

Book It!

If there was a book about you, would anyone read it...

I think I am going to take my friends' advice and write a book. That age old question has been haunting me lately. Not only that, I just think it would be neat to see what the process is like. Plus, it would give my friends something to do, if they really love me. I don't really believe in hiring outsiders too swift. Although keeping outsiders close is sometimes better than those closest to you.

It's been rough lately. I don't know what to do besides what I've been doing. Applying..., well, sending my resume. I am hoping this guy will call me back and let me know the deal. Hopefully, it's not what I think and will be worth wild, because afterwhile, I am going to think my time spent in school was a waste and I majored in the wrong field. We shall see.

Where To Begin

Sigh...

Starting something over you apparently didn't have control over, is a very difficult task, especially when you were never given any direction in the first place. You don't want to just jump right into it, because once you get started, it's hard to find your way back. If you start off by analyzing, you lose time. You get too caught up in the idea of 'well if i do this', that you never get to get where you are trying to get to. So, where do I begin?