My Horoscope Today
It can be a real chore if you have to deal with someone who has authority over you, yet doesn't seem to support your efforts. It may feel like a slippery uphill climb today and although it could take extra determination to reach your destination, the process also makes you stronger. Don't complain about what you have to do now; just do the best you can and the rewards will eventually follow.
If you've been keeping tabs. You know how much this means to me.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Boo Bitch Bye!
As you enter the store, something sloppy walks in with you. I'm not the type of person to judge other people, but when you're loud and just extraordinarily EXTRA, then, I have that option to form a very quick opinion on you! The convo goes as follows:
You fill out the info, and I wish you a lovely day, as you the same.
Now, if it weren't for the really nice guy that washes our store windows twice a month, I think I would have flat out nutted up on SO...she just woke her ass up and said SO what!
What pissed me off about this, is that you brought this young lady up there in order for yourself to see me. I felt like she was trying to show her ass as if it were going to make me act out with her. The difference between me and this bitch is that I will show my ass, when you least expect it. And when I do, guaranteed, you will Harlem Shake! I don't play no BS, and by you knowing that, you left the store, when she attempted to make a scene. Not only did you mess up our Conversions by walking your 'I don't give a fuck' behind in and out twice, you ain't bout shit. And it was very apparent based on your behavior as well as hers. Maybe, when you told her that I was your ex, you should have also informed her that I don't have it allo, and Freddie is always a hands reach away.
I have a lot of emotions running through me. From work, to friends, associates, coworkers, family, finances, etc. I don't have time to whoop your ass, get fired and still smile the next day, after I put a restraining order on the both of you (you being an accessory). As I told Window Boy, "I was about to hit folk." He so friendly (I think he be flirtin'). Anyway, I really don't like dramatical people. It's fake. In my former life, I was a male actor. So I know how to play the role, not only well, but be able to put on many faces, and you are looking at me like, "What is she going to be today?" I'm a Pisces. I'm emotional and I can exprience various emotions in minutes. Don't do me boo! I'm that type, as you talk shit through the phone or other people, I show up like, "Did you need something?" I'm the type to let you waste all your air yappin' off at the mouth, and just drop kick you in your throat, "Can you breathe?" I'm the type, I will hurt you, and then call the police and dare them to arrest me...Not when I feared for my life!
Don't do me. Boo, Bitch! BYE!
...Is all that called for...
As you enter the store, something sloppy walks in with you. I'm not the type of person to judge other people, but when you're loud and just extraordinarily EXTRA, then, I have that option to form a very quick opinion on you! The convo goes as follows:
Slopped Out: "I have a return. Imma be back Friday when my boyfriend get his check this weekend! *at the time, that made sense, but if the first is on Sunday, then 'he' won't receive it until Saturday. The mail runs then too, ya know!*
You: "How's work?"
Me: "Good. *turns back to customer* Do you have your receipt?"
SO: "No."
Me: "I will have to put your balance on a gift card."
SO: "What?"
Me: "I will have to put it on a gift card."
SO: "What?!"
You: "A gift card..."
SO: "Oh, ion want no gift card. The other lady saw me, when I purchased it..."
Me: *blank stare*
SO: "I really don't want a gift card..." *shuffles through purse* There's no way for you to look it up?"
Me: *shakes head*
SO: "I guess. I'll take the gift card then."
You fill out the info, and I wish you a lovely day, as you the same.
Now, if it weren't for the really nice guy that washes our store windows twice a month, I think I would have flat out nutted up on SO...she just woke her ass up and said SO what!
What pissed me off about this, is that you brought this young lady up there in order for yourself to see me. I felt like she was trying to show her ass as if it were going to make me act out with her. The difference between me and this bitch is that I will show my ass, when you least expect it. And when I do, guaranteed, you will Harlem Shake! I don't play no BS, and by you knowing that, you left the store, when she attempted to make a scene. Not only did you mess up our Conversions by walking your 'I don't give a fuck' behind in and out twice, you ain't bout shit. And it was very apparent based on your behavior as well as hers. Maybe, when you told her that I was your ex, you should have also informed her that I don't have it allo, and Freddie is always a hands reach away.
I have a lot of emotions running through me. From work, to friends, associates, coworkers, family, finances, etc. I don't have time to whoop your ass, get fired and still smile the next day, after I put a restraining order on the both of you (you being an accessory). As I told Window Boy, "I was about to hit folk." He so friendly (I think he be flirtin'). Anyway, I really don't like dramatical people. It's fake. In my former life, I was a male actor. So I know how to play the role, not only well, but be able to put on many faces, and you are looking at me like, "What is she going to be today?" I'm a Pisces. I'm emotional and I can exprience various emotions in minutes. Don't do me boo! I'm that type, as you talk shit through the phone or other people, I show up like, "Did you need something?" I'm the type to let you waste all your air yappin' off at the mouth, and just drop kick you in your throat, "Can you breathe?" I'm the type, I will hurt you, and then call the police and dare them to arrest me...Not when I feared for my life!
Don't do me. Boo, Bitch! BYE!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Overdue
Between my business and personal life, the two have somehow merged and have become overwhelming.
As I sit with my headphones playing the eclectic sounds of some of my favorite tracks, I thought it would be the best time to clear my mind!
Work:
Has changed drastically! Just a few months ago, I was being praised for my position and the possibility of advancing looked GREAT! Today, not so much! I've been quoted as 'not goal driven' when it comes to sales. I find that impossible to be said, based on the few visits given by our DM, AND that of someone who works within, who seemingly makes it seem as if she's the only person doing her job. When in fact, she's the laziest, and always has shit to say about what someone isn't doing! And when someone goes in on her, she gets offended and can't handle the truth, wants to cry to her indirect boss, and then...
There's my immediate boss! Love her to death! Without her giving me a call about an opening, there's no telling where I'd be right now! The problem with her, she's a Leo. I'm not going to go in detail about what I mean or how it relates to Pisces, but quite frankly, they talk a good game and settle without fight!
These two individuals butt heads often, in part to the whining coworker, who always has something to say, but when questioned, 'oh I was just joking'. Now, there are things going on with our indirect boss, stepping all out of line. If you want to be a manager, please inform the necessary people and they can act accordingly! I need you to not overstep your boundary and try to run a store because of Tantrum (that's going to be her new name).
I'm at the point now, where I realize my time is coming to an end! I can go into details about why, who and when, but I'm typing via BlackBerry. I just don't have the energy to type a 44-page essay on chain of command and staying in your lane!
Personal:
Hmmm...rollercoaster of emotions have cycled. I think because I get bored easily (my coworker says it's OCD) I'm ready to step into newer things! I've learned how to let go! I've learned how to cut certain emotions off for certain scenarios and people for that matter!
As much as I love the people in my life, I must move on! I have new ventures to try! I have new people to do (yeah I said it)! I have new feelings to experience! Right now, things are patchy and I am unsure! It can only get worse! I'm preparing myself for it now.
My life has to be in order and hanging on to some people and things keeps me from advancing! Once everything starts to play out, I should be good to go! It starts with me!
So with all the drama at work, and the changes being made in my personal life, I can say...it's well overdue!
Between my business and personal life, the two have somehow merged and have become overwhelming.
As I sit with my headphones playing the eclectic sounds of some of my favorite tracks, I thought it would be the best time to clear my mind!
Work:
Has changed drastically! Just a few months ago, I was being praised for my position and the possibility of advancing looked GREAT! Today, not so much! I've been quoted as 'not goal driven' when it comes to sales. I find that impossible to be said, based on the few visits given by our DM, AND that of someone who works within, who seemingly makes it seem as if she's the only person doing her job. When in fact, she's the laziest, and always has shit to say about what someone isn't doing! And when someone goes in on her, she gets offended and can't handle the truth, wants to cry to her indirect boss, and then...
There's my immediate boss! Love her to death! Without her giving me a call about an opening, there's no telling where I'd be right now! The problem with her, she's a Leo. I'm not going to go in detail about what I mean or how it relates to Pisces, but quite frankly, they talk a good game and settle without fight!
These two individuals butt heads often, in part to the whining coworker, who always has something to say, but when questioned, 'oh I was just joking'. Now, there are things going on with our indirect boss, stepping all out of line. If you want to be a manager, please inform the necessary people and they can act accordingly! I need you to not overstep your boundary and try to run a store because of Tantrum (that's going to be her new name).
I'm at the point now, where I realize my time is coming to an end! I can go into details about why, who and when, but I'm typing via BlackBerry. I just don't have the energy to type a 44-page essay on chain of command and staying in your lane!
Personal:
Hmmm...rollercoaster of emotions have cycled. I think because I get bored easily (my coworker says it's OCD) I'm ready to step into newer things! I've learned how to let go! I've learned how to cut certain emotions off for certain scenarios and people for that matter!
As much as I love the people in my life, I must move on! I have new ventures to try! I have new people to do (yeah I said it)! I have new feelings to experience! Right now, things are patchy and I am unsure! It can only get worse! I'm preparing myself for it now.
My life has to be in order and hanging on to some people and things keeps me from advancing! Once everything starts to play out, I should be good to go! It starts with me!
So with all the drama at work, and the changes being made in my personal life, I can say...it's well overdue!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
No Words
...................I honestly cannot explain how I've been feeling lately. Dealing with the drama that is life, in addition to trying to gain a confidant, has been draining. During the time that I've been MIA, I've had time to realize that I was doing better when I was venting with a pen and paper or typing and sharing. I didn't have to vent it to all my friends/associates.
I've learned that people are going to be the way they are without thinking the long term effects of it. For example, I planned to meet up with someone this past weekend, and somehow the plan backfired. Not on my end, but his. Even when I was told about the transition in his life, my closer friends (who were not aware of the past events), were doing the subway scene from Coming to America, "Go on honey! Take a chance!" I, knowing better, simply took it all as WHATEVER. Well, everything was 'set in sand', up until like a week before, and I was told, "Oh, something else has come up, but I should be back by this particular time." So I'm asking during that same week of, "YOU SURE?!" Well, let's just say, things changed. I was upset, not because of what happened, but because you're still a liar. Nothing's changed. PLUS, I have yet to hear from him. I don't need an explanation or anything, just note that you didn't think about what you were doing, and therefore what you said in the beginning of your transition was just fluff. Understand that I'll still be very cordial and may check in every-now-and-then, but don't hold your breath...
I've learned that people will hold on to you because they feel comfortable with you, and don't expect you to change. For example, the former sig fig (significant other) in my life, has a good ol' time forgetting that no one around him (including himself) gives a damn about him. So when isht hits the fan and he has no where else to go, he comes back to me, assuming that I'll be OKAY and open with his requests. Despite the fact that he says a lot of words he doesn't mean (let him tell it). He likes to say things like, "Don't call me anymore, and don't worry about blah blah blah!" I have no choice but to follow up. You're draining. Our life is over...
I've learned that I have a difficult time telling people no. I now give that 'face' and indirectly not answer. It's not that I don't know how to say no, it's just that my heart is giving and it's almost not me to say it. However, due to past experiences, the one time you give in (which is usually the first time), people will continue to come to you, because everyone else has turned them down.
I realized that I lost my connection with music. Snoop Dogg, Biggie, Dre, old Mariah, old Mary (although I love new Mary), and all my neo soul and R&B Anthony Hamilton, Ledisi, Erykah, etc.) still get me going. However, I used to listen to EVERYTHING. I had to reconnect with my Aerosmith, Nirvana, Red Hot Chilli Peppers; my old school The Isley Brothers, New Edition, Keith Sweat; my new alternatives Paramore, Evanescence, Yeah Yeah Yeahs etc. I looked at my viola the other day and wondered whatever happened to my (I'll insert the name later) tape! I was doing so much better when I could do that and vent!
I understood that as I get older, things are going to change. I can't do the things that I used to, and I have to learn how to let things that are not good for me, go! I'm on a mission to reevaluate my friends, and my situations. I'm only digging a deeper hole, continuing to do (or lack their of) the norm and keeping the norm around me. Someone actually asked me the other day "I mean, are we still friends, like, what's up?" And I laughed, but I almost said no! Again, I have a hard time saying it.
I'm just going to end it there. There's too much going on in my mind to really jot it all down!
So many emotions running through me...
...................I honestly cannot explain how I've been feeling lately. Dealing with the drama that is life, in addition to trying to gain a confidant, has been draining. During the time that I've been MIA, I've had time to realize that I was doing better when I was venting with a pen and paper or typing and sharing. I didn't have to vent it to all my friends/associates.
I've learned that people are going to be the way they are without thinking the long term effects of it. For example, I planned to meet up with someone this past weekend, and somehow the plan backfired. Not on my end, but his. Even when I was told about the transition in his life, my closer friends (who were not aware of the past events), were doing the subway scene from Coming to America, "Go on honey! Take a chance!" I, knowing better, simply took it all as WHATEVER. Well, everything was 'set in sand', up until like a week before, and I was told, "Oh, something else has come up, but I should be back by this particular time." So I'm asking during that same week of, "YOU SURE?!" Well, let's just say, things changed. I was upset, not because of what happened, but because you're still a liar. Nothing's changed. PLUS, I have yet to hear from him. I don't need an explanation or anything, just note that you didn't think about what you were doing, and therefore what you said in the beginning of your transition was just fluff. Understand that I'll still be very cordial and may check in every-now-and-then, but don't hold your breath...
I've learned that people will hold on to you because they feel comfortable with you, and don't expect you to change. For example, the former sig fig (significant other) in my life, has a good ol' time forgetting that no one around him (including himself) gives a damn about him. So when isht hits the fan and he has no where else to go, he comes back to me, assuming that I'll be OKAY and open with his requests. Despite the fact that he says a lot of words he doesn't mean (let him tell it). He likes to say things like, "Don't call me anymore, and don't worry about blah blah blah!" I have no choice but to follow up. You're draining. Our life is over...
I've learned that I have a difficult time telling people no. I now give that 'face' and indirectly not answer. It's not that I don't know how to say no, it's just that my heart is giving and it's almost not me to say it. However, due to past experiences, the one time you give in (which is usually the first time), people will continue to come to you, because everyone else has turned them down.
I realized that I lost my connection with music. Snoop Dogg, Biggie, Dre, old Mariah, old Mary (although I love new Mary), and all my neo soul and R&B Anthony Hamilton, Ledisi, Erykah, etc.) still get me going. However, I used to listen to EVERYTHING. I had to reconnect with my Aerosmith, Nirvana, Red Hot Chilli Peppers; my old school The Isley Brothers, New Edition, Keith Sweat; my new alternatives Paramore, Evanescence, Yeah Yeah Yeahs etc. I looked at my viola the other day and wondered whatever happened to my (I'll insert the name later) tape! I was doing so much better when I could do that and vent!
I understood that as I get older, things are going to change. I can't do the things that I used to, and I have to learn how to let things that are not good for me, go! I'm on a mission to reevaluate my friends, and my situations. I'm only digging a deeper hole, continuing to do (or lack their of) the norm and keeping the norm around me. Someone actually asked me the other day "I mean, are we still friends, like, what's up?" And I laughed, but I almost said no! Again, I have a hard time saying it.
I'm just going to end it there. There's too much going on in my mind to really jot it all down!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Successfully Living with ADD
I've discussed this several times, in many ways, on all the blogs I administer. I can't stop thinking about how I've never "settled" on one thing. Jobs, majors, books (to read or not to read), journaling, etc. I get bored easily, and things are constantly running through my mind. However, I've never taken the time to do something about my boredom. I don't know if it's pure laziness or just simply because I'm afraid.
Afraid of doing something different. Afraid of getting into a bigger rut than I already am in. Afraid of getting bored with something that stimulates me mentally and emotionally.
Then, I realize, I may have some type of attention disorder. ADD or not, something! It aggravates me to the fullest.
I'm beginning to believe...
I've discussed this several times, in many ways, on all the blogs I administer. I can't stop thinking about how I've never "settled" on one thing. Jobs, majors, books (to read or not to read), journaling, etc. I get bored easily, and things are constantly running through my mind. However, I've never taken the time to do something about my boredom. I don't know if it's pure laziness or just simply because I'm afraid.
Afraid of doing something different. Afraid of getting into a bigger rut than I already am in. Afraid of getting bored with something that stimulates me mentally and emotionally.
Then, I realize, I may have some type of attention disorder. ADD or not, something! It aggravates me to the fullest.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Slow Cooker vs. Popcorn Popper
I've debated about what I'm titling this one. Only because so much has happened within the last 30 min that I started it.
I'm ready; to go. I made that decision months ago. Lakeisha left this earth abruptly, without a choice. I was given today, and today I made the choice that everyday I am given to live, I will live it fully as I have everyday, just with additional perks! Life is not forever, and I've been holding up well, for someone who lost her sister. It's everything else that happens in between that makes me realize how long I've been slow-cooking (thanks A.C.).
She's not the first person to say it. It wasn't the first time I realized it. I've know that about my self for a very long time now. It wasn't until I was filling out paperwork for a new doctor, that I wish I knew more about family history. And when questioned about it today, after informing my mother that my 34-year-old coworker passed suddenly, it was, "Well, I gave you all the information that I had." Uhm, sweetie, it's no like you gave me a pamphlet full of information with a SSN and an updated photo! With that, I will no longer sit idly and wish and hope and pray. I will just pray that what I get is the answer that I need. No, not the where have you been all my life, but simply, I had this, momma had that. That's all I've ever wanted. I'm a curious person, but not to the point of nosy. I love history, and this is mine. I want to be able to tell my story when I get old (Lord willing).
It wasn't until I was on the phone with someone I really love that I solidified what I discovered a very long time ago...RUN! It was fun while it last. The series finale has ended. This one will not be picked up by BET or any other network for that matter. There is no way this story can continue. The end.
It wasn't until I became disfunctional at work, and I looked at a coworker and made a mental note of, "You're a joke!" Despite the love-hate relationship we tend to have with each other, I'm beginning to lose my mind.
It wasn't until I came home (3 years ago) and I learned there was nothing to do except on First Friday's and some Saturday's. And not too many people I know are living alone, to where they can randomly through a house party or just a hey let's just chill and play cards. Sucks!
It wasn't until I realized I get bored easily. If it's not something that is ongoing and ever changing, you can call it a wrap! I will stick to doing what I'm used to, and that's what I'm doing now.
It wasn't until some people felt like they had to reiterate their presence. I know you are there, but it doesn't mean I'm comfortable or feel like coming to you about things. I may not feel you are on that level. Hell, I didn't tell one of my best friends about the death of my grandfather, and pissy did he get. Usually, something will come up, where I do need to go to you. Right now just is not the time. It's not always direct. I may hit you up 10 years from now (like I did a guy I met at Howard) like, "THANK YOU," and it would have totally slipped your mind. Hell, none of my friends can say they all know the same things about me. As a matter of fact, they all can't say they know the different sides of me. There are a lot of things they can agree on, but one thing is for sure, let me do me and if I need you, I got you!
I'm going to try to do my best to no longer slow-cook. If that means being a more broader bitch with no strings attached, then so be it. No more beating around the bush or sparing feelings. Unfortunately, mine haven't been spared, so why should I care. I've taken in everyone else's shit long enough. It's really time to do me, fuck how you feel about it. Time to make a move, and I've giving myself a timeline. It's been real!
I've debated about what I'm titling this one. Only because so much has happened within the last 30 min that I started it.
I'm ready; to go. I made that decision months ago. Lakeisha left this earth abruptly, without a choice. I was given today, and today I made the choice that everyday I am given to live, I will live it fully as I have everyday, just with additional perks! Life is not forever, and I've been holding up well, for someone who lost her sister. It's everything else that happens in between that makes me realize how long I've been slow-cooking (thanks A.C.).
She's not the first person to say it. It wasn't the first time I realized it. I've know that about my self for a very long time now. It wasn't until I was filling out paperwork for a new doctor, that I wish I knew more about family history. And when questioned about it today, after informing my mother that my 34-year-old coworker passed suddenly, it was, "Well, I gave you all the information that I had." Uhm, sweetie, it's no like you gave me a pamphlet full of information with a SSN and an updated photo! With that, I will no longer sit idly and wish and hope and pray. I will just pray that what I get is the answer that I need. No, not the where have you been all my life, but simply, I had this, momma had that. That's all I've ever wanted. I'm a curious person, but not to the point of nosy. I love history, and this is mine. I want to be able to tell my story when I get old (Lord willing).
It wasn't until I was on the phone with someone I really love that I solidified what I discovered a very long time ago...RUN! It was fun while it last. The series finale has ended. This one will not be picked up by BET or any other network for that matter. There is no way this story can continue. The end.
It wasn't until I became disfunctional at work, and I looked at a coworker and made a mental note of, "You're a joke!" Despite the love-hate relationship we tend to have with each other, I'm beginning to lose my mind.
It wasn't until I came home (3 years ago) and I learned there was nothing to do except on First Friday's and some Saturday's. And not too many people I know are living alone, to where they can randomly through a house party or just a hey let's just chill and play cards. Sucks!
It wasn't until I realized I get bored easily. If it's not something that is ongoing and ever changing, you can call it a wrap! I will stick to doing what I'm used to, and that's what I'm doing now.
It wasn't until some people felt like they had to reiterate their presence. I know you are there, but it doesn't mean I'm comfortable or feel like coming to you about things. I may not feel you are on that level. Hell, I didn't tell one of my best friends about the death of my grandfather, and pissy did he get. Usually, something will come up, where I do need to go to you. Right now just is not the time. It's not always direct. I may hit you up 10 years from now (like I did a guy I met at Howard) like, "THANK YOU," and it would have totally slipped your mind. Hell, none of my friends can say they all know the same things about me. As a matter of fact, they all can't say they know the different sides of me. There are a lot of things they can agree on, but one thing is for sure, let me do me and if I need you, I got you!
I'm going to try to do my best to no longer slow-cook. If that means being a more broader bitch with no strings attached, then so be it. No more beating around the bush or sparing feelings. Unfortunately, mine haven't been spared, so why should I care. I've taken in everyone else's shit long enough. It's really time to do me, fuck how you feel about it. Time to make a move, and I've giving myself a timeline. It's been real!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Bored
...out of my mind...
I'm sitting on the phone with a friend from high school. And I'm doing NOTHING. I'm doing more typing than anything, only because my mind is elsewhere. I'm on so many different thoughts.
I want more! I have to do more, and I feel like I initiated that a few days ago. I'm proud of myself. Despite what the end result of all of this is, I will be happy. I can't speak for anyone else, because I have this body and this body only. I miss certain people from my past, although we still talk. I want to go certain places. I want to do certain things. I can't. Not right now anyway.
...out of my mind...
I'm sitting on the phone with a friend from high school. And I'm doing NOTHING. I'm doing more typing than anything, only because my mind is elsewhere. I'm on so many different thoughts.
I want more! I have to do more, and I feel like I initiated that a few days ago. I'm proud of myself. Despite what the end result of all of this is, I will be happy. I can't speak for anyone else, because I have this body and this body only. I miss certain people from my past, although we still talk. I want to go certain places. I want to do certain things. I can't. Not right now anyway.
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