Let's Start the New Year Off....WRONG!!!

First and foremost....

Happy New Year Everyone! I honestly didn't think that I was going to start this early on a post. An hour and two minutes into the New Year, but...I had to!

First and foremost, Ms. T had a wonderful holiday. Some good, some bad, but no complaints. I've been blessed. There are people far more worse than I am.

Secondly, I'm sure I said this in a preivious post, but someone once told me that I am not the first person thought off to go out and about to celebrate, party, dine out, etc. *In my mind, I'm only good when you need me to be your foolywang sidekick, a safety net, or just the extra person because the people who invited you make you uncomfortable. Now, I understand your position, however, don't call me first when you want to tell me, "You should have been there," or "Oops, my bad, no one told you."

I got one invite (and a half) for the New Year. The half invite was about a week ago, and technically, it wasn't really an official invite. It was more of a "Are you coming this way again, this New Year?" The other, was a "WISH YOU WERE HERE" and that person is 4 hours away. We won't count how mother asked if I were doing anything and if I needed her to be home (clearly I am not 7).

Thirdly, I realized that all my "friends" are very much like me. All the vain, "fake famed", I place men before you, 100% wack, the I KNOW I'M NOT WACK (when you CLEARLY are), always talking about what you're going to do but never do it type friends. I've never been vain, I don't believe myself to be famous (even in the smallest sense of the word), I NEVER PUT MEN BEFORE MY RELATIONSHIPS NOT EVEN WITH MYSELF, but I do say stuff that I am going to do, but end up sitting on my arse. Now, there is an exception to this brief list of YOU PISS ME OFF. There are those I met briefly. Those that inspired me to be adventurous to try new things, took me to ice cream shops I had never been to before (thanks A.G.), the ones that confided in me and barely knew me for 3 months, the ones that drove in the worst of snow in a F*CKed up car and the next day stood outside, walked a few blocks just to flag a cab so that we got home safely (thanks Jazz), the ones that rolled through the room at like 6:30 in the A.M. rocking the 'shirt' and Ms. T busted you out without her glasses on (Maine), the ones that jumped from person to person without leaving a memo, those that did my makeup (thanks Makeup Ho), the ones that smelled so sweet as they walked past me in Applied Calculus, the ones I wanted to rape and they didn't mind, the ones that had my back although I didn't need it (Love You Sutherland and Boom Boom), the ones that rode the "train" although we weren't even on the caboose (thanks ladies of the night, hallways, and study sessions), the ones that warmed my heart by stopping by to say their last visual goodbyes at 323 on that big day (Baby Daddy #1), the ones that were loud as hell but you loved them anyway (Quesh and Joyous Celebration)....and yes I could continue, but I think I will leave that for tomorrow's post.

The point I am making is, we've started the New Year off incorrectly already. I'm not directing this to anyone in particular, but how can you honestly say you are my friend if you don't ask me anything? How can you honestly say you've offered all you can 'til you can't no more, all because I didn't go out with you on three occasions? How can you say I'm a lame, when you don't know what my interests are? How can you make me comfortable in an uncomfortable situation if I wasn't uncomfortable in the first place?

I'm just disappointed...but one thing is for sure, the brevity of my relationships will last with me forever. If you have that fuzzy feeling that says that this is about you...understand how I feel. I'll kill the first mother I see (for you B), fall back, pulsate mothaf*#@as!