This Is How It Should Be Done

The things that we go through on a daily basis, end up sticking with us for a lifetime. We make decisions in hopes that the outcome is positive, but as we know, that's not always the case.

I had to take a brief break from reality and reevaluate myself. I felt oblivious to what others were thinking or how I even perceived their thoughts of me. Never did or have I questioned, because I've always lived by "birds of a feather flock together". As long as there was no beef, we were good. There have been times with my relationships among my circles of acquaintances, that I've had the desire to inquire about certain things. But a lot of times, depending on who the person was, depended on if and when I'd ask. I try to share as much as I can when my gut doesn't feel right, ONLY when I have enough evidence to support my case. Most of the time, I got my questions or issues resolved. The rest, I received an I.O.U. I never pursue the matter later down the road, it just eventually comes out.

Month to date, I've e not only stepped on some toes, I've hurt some hearts. In turn, I've hurt myself. There is some difficulty in saying what's on my mind. Somewhere between the thought process and the actual words coming out my mouth, is incorrectly wired. My words are misinterpreted and confusion forms. Oh, and don't let my misinterpreted words follow with an action that doesn't follow them! OMG! Some of the closest people to me, STILL don't get me! I don't even try to explain anymore. At this point they feel, "That's just Ms. T." Well, I no longer want it to be that way. Not only is that not fair to me (because you assume you know), you are selling yourself short in the long run.

The words of someone I felt who knew very little about me to say, "Maybe you don't have enough push behind your words," still crawl under my skin, but maybe it's true. Despite the what is said, it's how it's said. Plus, my actions need to be aligned with those words. I get so tired of people assuming something just because it's me. I didn't come with very detailed instructions. I am very easy to understand once you take the time out to do so.

So from now on, I must make stern, clear and concise statements with confidence. I must continue to check for understanding (that's part of my problem at work now) and if assistance is needed, refer to the necessary party. I refuse to be a failure to myself and remain in this boat that I've been in any longer. The words I say today are waiting for me tomorrow.