Adaptation

This is not what I was taught in school...

"What made you think that what you just did was cool? You apparently weren't listening to me when I told you the first time, not to do that! Well since you think you know so much, know this...." After being around someone for so long, do we do the things they do just because it's something learned? If so, why? Why is it that the actions of others carry over? Do we do these things, because we desire attention, because we think it's cool or just for the hell of it? Are we taking in these actions as our own, so that we can be more popular? Or is it to gain self-confidence, because we don't know our ownself?

I have always felt that I was my own person. I can't really recall a time in which I 'joined' in with everyone else (except at basketball games, when the opposing team loses their mind). Anywhoo. It dawned on me how some people seem to take on the shape of their environment. I mean, I understand that you feel the need to follow others, but I really need you to follow your own drum!

For example, Vicky is picking on Angela, and Shayla is Angela's best friend. Instead of sticking up for Angela, Shayla joins Vicky in taunting Angela. I've always been told, you don't know the next person, nor do you know what they are going through. A few months down the road, Shayla is sitting in court on the stand, with cracked ribs, and a busted eye. The prosecution asks, "Shayla, how well did you know the defendant?" Her response, "We've been best friends since kindergarten. So, I feel I know her very well!" Guess, what deary, YOU DIDN'T!

I've had several people in the last month come to me with something similar to this (minus being in court). Their loved ones have said or done something way out of character, and have been doing so for a while. A lot of them have turned to these people in confidence, hoping that what had been discussed would go in one ear and out the other (in other words, not to four other people).

I think we sometimes forget to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. Unless someone comes up to me and says, "Ms. T, let's have a focus group on my issues", I'm not going out to tell everyone else in my inner/outer circle of associates, friends, and accomplices. It is very apparent that you still have some evolving to do as a person, but we all are adults. I need you to adapt as such and keep things moving!